Monday, October 09, 2006

Feeling very light headed and hearted today

I dunno why is it that i am feeling so light and happy right now ... maybe its the excellent fish i had for dinner ... maybe it was the company i had at dinner ... maybe its just the weather ... i dunno ... i dont care ... i love the feeling ...

I had not been feeling well over the past one week and in between the important event of presenting my first technical paper accepted at a pulic forum ... the only thing that i could afford to do was sleep and think ... think about life ... existence and the good effects of prayer.

Prayer ... the one word that brings religiosity to mind ... a man who prays is considered to be a complete religious "holy holy" guy ... i think not!

When i was struggling with a 103 temperature and i just couldn't get to sleep due to the myriad paths my hallucinating mind was taking, i decided to try out something interesting.... i closed my eyes and started a chant .... it was just a rendition of the holy rosary ... something we have been doing as a family since as far as i can remember ... it was more of a chant than a real prayer .... and it worked like a beauty ...

No my fever did not come down .... but i could feel my senses and thoughts collating and coming to focus ... the chant was helping my mind calm down so that i could get my much needed sleep ... in the proces i realized the much maligned truth about prayer ... its the best mental tool known to man since times immemorial ...

A prayer (not necessarily to god...) can be anything from a heartfelt outpouring to a senseless chant is a mental tool that people use for reassurance, refocussing and invogorating the inner soul ... if seen from the right perspective i think prayer is a life enhancing tool ...

Personally i prefer the chanting path of prayer ... the rosary has become so much of a habit that i chant it everyday rather than actually mean it when said in unison with the family ... During the course of the chant ... my mind wanders on multiple paths ... looking deep into my subconscious ... i find peace and tranquility , i find out what troubles me ... what makes me ecstatic ... my innermost plans for myself ... my dreams and aspirations ... my likes my dislikes ... my love and my hate ... i am actually self aware as if i were cast on stage with all the spotlights on me and the world watching on ...

Anyway ... this momentous feeling i felt helped me sleep well that night and tide over my first major sickness in three years ...

I dont feel any more religious or pious ... rather i feel at peace and content with myself ... and i think i understand why peple pray ... they may be doing out of peity, but the real reason is somwhere deep down inside it is aiding them to be more self aware of themselves ... and that is what is necessary to lead an enlightened life ....

And ofcourse its good to be back at work with wonderful plans for my future ... i hope i continue to remain as optimistic and upbeat as this all my life ... i owe it to me and the society in which i live...